The whole banana

Nigel when the word 'sharing' is mentioned at dinner time. 

Naturally

Meat, dairy, wheat, gluten, sugar and peanut eating nature lovers. 

Snap

The wildlife inside the exhibition rivalled by much scarier wildlife in the queue.

PS

No wonder people can't find the bleedin' square.

Arrivederci

To the aeroporto via Uber - Venetian style. 

On hold

Oi! Get your hands off my gnocchi. 

Swinnging in the rain

Nigel having a Gene Kelly moment. 

I couldn't do that

We have a saying - 'A big ball of twine' and it describes an obsession I have with big gob smacking things that you've never seen before. So... the Damian Hirst show in Venice is the biggest ball of twine I've ever seen in my life. It's called the 'Treasures from the wreck of the unbelievable' and it literally is unbefreakinglievable. All of the pieces ostensibly recovered from a ship wreck - imagery of the divers recovering the pieces included. The size, scale and scope of the show is wild most notably a 60 foot tall depiction of a headless demon sporting a willy the size of a grown man's torso and filling the entire Palazzo Grassi - now that would bring any woman to tears surely. 

Mane event

The best bit of the Biennale - a ruddy great stallion literally (horse) shoed into it's space. 

Flower power

Conned into buying me a rose in St Mark's Square - it later came in very handy to help him shimmy through a partially open window, push open a shutter and take another photo. 

Tiramitwo

It's only 4 o'clock and we've already choked down 2 tiramisu's. 

Hold on

Very, very happy to have my trotters back on terra firma after a bone shaking ride in a speed boat from the airport. 

Now that's hawkward

The Gritti Palace is too posh for pigeons - so they pay this fella to send them all back to St Mark's square. 

A lot of dough

Though our wallet is now empty - The Gritti Palace will always have a pizza my heart. 

Comb over

I am 100% not sure about the decision a lot of women are taking to permanently remove all of their Rubik's cubes with lasers. OK - go to Brazil if you must, but don't take up permanent residence there, is all I'm saying. Because yes it might be the fashion now but what happens when a full Kate is suddenly back on the runway again? Anyway arriving in Venice - I realised that once the ridiculous beard fad sweeping the planet is over - they could perhaps eventually be put to better use with women desperate to be back in fashion again. 

St Nigel

Absolutely 100% no photos in St Paul's.

That's so Tate

It only just occurred to me on our last visit - that Tate Britain is a 'great' name for the original Tate - ie Great Britain - D'uhhhh - I'd seriously never got this before. I mentioned it to Nigel expecting him to say - "Oooh crickey you're quick (not)" - but instead a little flicker of "oh yeah" appeared on his face. After a bit of bickering we agreed it was quite a good name but another option could have been Mashed Potate'o - which could then perhaps be followed by - Apple T'art. 

The girkin

Being the meat in a Tate Britain 'Rueben sandwich'.
All I need now is the pickle - which actually I already got from Nigel, who got us into one, getting there. 

Hue'bris

At Fortnum's they've even committed their colour palette to the wire baskets.